Tuesday, June 16, 2009

O'Malley's SunRyes Ale

Note: Thought this would be fun. Here is a raw, unedited, unfinished two-part entry that was written sometime in late 2008, most likely at the same time that I was drinking the beer under review. I've not toned it down, and I haven't done my usual week-long "should I say that?" deliberation on phrasing and flow that usually goes into these entries. I never posted it because I felt like I was unable to politely convey my feelings toward this beer, but I've since decided that it doesn't matter. It's all in good fun and decent, drinking people deserve to know. Enjoy!

It was the sweet, rotten smell of decay that made me immediately dread taking my first sip of this abomination in a bottle. If I was drinking this for recreational reasons (read: to get drunk), I'd pour it into the nearest toilet right now. Tastes like rotten lemons. Made me pucker, it really is sour. I've never had anything like it, and I hope that other than the remaining bottle that will inevitably rest for ages in my tiny little beer fridge, I never will again.

Fast forward several weeks:

Whole second bottle to go through because I'm a cheap bastard and refuse to drain pour this worthless, sorry sack of shit excuse for a beer. O'Malley's Brewery, if by some cruel twist of fate you actually end up reading this, I sincerely hope that you really, very seriously consider buying back and destroying all distributed containers of this Devil's brew, burn the recipe, and strongly reconsider the wage you're paying the person who brews it. Honestly, is there anyone in Weston that tastes this crap before they bottle it?